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I used to view money like I did the Boogeyman once I was little: darkish, horrifying, and past understanding. Cash wasn’t all the time on my thoughts. However when it was, like within the lead-up to hire being due, I felt there wasn’t sufficient air to breathe. Overcoming monetary nervousness appeared out of reach. I used to be attempting to remain afloat in a world run by a monster.
My fear-based outlook on cash lasted properly into my thirties. By then, I’d conquered unbelievable issues—graduate college, residing in a number of cities, touchdown a dream journalism job—however nonetheless, cash had its grip on me. Irrespective of the counsel I obtained or the cash I made, I couldn’t run from my worry of it.
Pictures by Michelle Nash.
Till I met Hayley Dickson. An authorized monetary planner, Dickson helped me see cash as an alternative. A beacon, actually. She’s eager to assist ladies overcome monetary nervousness, get fired up in regards to the cash we work so exhausting to make (regardless of the quantity), and be ok with our funds. Working together with her made me really feel robust. Dickson’s perception additionally helped me notice I wasn’t alone in my want to beat monetary nervousness. “Cash is without doubt one of the solely issues society has determined we’re purported to know the right way to do with out being taught the right way to do it,” she says. “We study to unravel the angles of an isosceles triangle in class, however not about how our 401Ks are taxed.”
I just lately chatted with Dickson to unpack a few of the most outstanding cash obstacles ladies face and the shifts I made—and all of us could make—to beat them.
Overcoming Financial Anxiety: 3 Things that Get in Our Way
After working with Dickson for more than two years, I’ve realized that unlearning things about money is as crucial as learning new tactics. These three things hindered me:
#1: The Wrong Money Mindset
I used to believe I needed to be more capable and worthy regarding money. Hayley showed me otherwise. “We carry limiting beliefs that prevent us from building wealth,” she tells me. Perhaps we saw our parents make poor money choices, or we came from a family with financial struggles. The money stories we witness early on can stay with us—but it’s never too late to rewrite our positive narrative, adds Dickson. “It’s about activating a new mindset, getting rid of your limiting beliefs, and creating a new relationship with money.”
#2: Gendered Intimidation
More than 75 percent of financial planners are men. This underscores the cringeworthy truth that the industry is rife with mansplaining, furthering feelings of intimidation, fear, shame, and paralysis, says Dickson. “Too many women don’t feel seen or heard or nurtured by their financial partnership, and therefore real growth is stifled.” She aims for women and anyone in a marginalized community to feel included in the conversations around building wealth.
#3: A Lack of Confidence
I mentioned that I started working with Dickson in my late thirties. At the time, I would have bet everything that I was the only woman to be so late to the financial literacy game. Heck, I was wrong—and that’s part of the issue. Too many of us feel we’re too late, too in debt, or just too overwhelmed to make a money change. “There’s a kind of covert epidemic where everyone else thinks everyone else has it figured out,” says Dickson. “But actually, nobody has it figured out,” Dickson adds that so many of her clients are successful, educated, savvy, accomplished women who are riddled with anxiety regarding their finances. Money is community work. We must talk about it, be vulnerable, and help each other.
Building Wealth: 4 Tips for Getting Started
I’m the first to admit: Positive talk about overcoming financial anxiety is excellent—but the work still needs to happen. So where do you start if you’re afraid? These steps helped get me to where I wanted to be.
#1: Get Real on Where You Are
This was the most challenging part for me—and the most freeing. Dickson worked with me to take a close and honest look at where my money was and what it was (and wasn’t) doing. “Most people have no idea where they are, meaning: What are your assets doing? What’s your credit score? What interests are you paying? Do you have the right risk management coverage?” Dickson says to start by getting clarity on where you are. “I use the GPS analogy,” she says. “You must drop a pin of where you are to figure out how to get from here to there.”
#2: State What You Truly Want
The topic of money used to keep me in a small and cyclical mindset: I’d work, get a paycheck, pay my rent, and do it all over again. Never did I think I’d be able to buy that dream cabin in Montana. But most of my work with Dickson is reaching for the stars and saying what I genuinely want aloud. Again: What I truly want—from property to lifestyle and everything in between. Dickson refers to this work as “goal management, not wealth management.” She says getting clear on your desire will help build the blocks to get you there.
#3: Have Faith
Too often, I would think: I waited too long, so what’s the point? I believed I had to push a boulder up a mountain to get to a healthy financial place. But Dickson always reminds me that all you need is a tiny bit of momentum. “It’s like Newton’s law,” she adds. “If you roll something small down the hill, it’ll pick up. We have to get out of our way.”
#4: Trust Your Gut
Everything goes back to this. Dickson says listening to your inner voice regarding money—and everything in life—is the key. “If women trusted their intuition even 10 percent of the time, we would all be in a more peaceful and joyful world.”
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